Meet Compost Malone...and Other Ways to Save the Planet

Teaser:

Open scene. 

It’s Christmas Day. I’m as excited as, well, a guy on Christmas Day. It’s my turn for Secret Santa and, by the portly blessing of Saint Nick himself, it is revealed that my “Elf” this year, was my sister Caitlin, a notoriously gifted gift-giver. 

I unravel a transparent plastic sheet from its tube. On it, a sticker of a man’s face. 

Austin Post aka Post Malone. 

Renowned rapper, and three-generational household favorite. 

“For your compost.” Caitlin says, beaming. 

“Ah yes. Compost Malone.”